Loosing track of time

I am currently observing an interesting phenomenon: loss of temporal orientation. It feels like some kind of overflow in my brain, where suddenly I can not even remember that I wanted to do a certain thing at a certain point in time (like go to the shop on my way home from work). I just forget about them. In addition, I have to really pull myself together in order to not get lost between the days of the week (and consequently to be in the right places at the right times). It is like being completely alone in a silent bubble, sharing life just from the perspective of an observer, just seeing but not hearing, who does not really understand what is happening around them.

Even though I have a lot of explanations for this confusion, I still am amazed that it can happen. I still don't know if I actually even like it - sometimes it makes me feel very relaxed, loosening the mechanisms of control I usually put around my activities - but on the other hand, the moment where you just in time realize you nearly skipped something is never too pleasant..

clouds on the ground

going home through the dense fog last night really was a remarkable experience. it was like walking in a cloud, like it sometimes happens on the mountains in winter. suddenly all the familiar views were hidden and there seemed to be no sound at all except for the crackling and crunching noises caused by my own steps. there were few other people hurrying home but they were hardly much more than fuzzy schemes. the only intense sensation in this moment was the prickling feeling on my face, caused from the icy humid air.

holiday on ice

today i went for ice skating on one of the lakes not too far from home. it was simply beautiful - so much space, so few people, fresh crispy air, great view to the mountains, no noises except the crackling of the ice... we were skating round the whole lake, which took us quite a while. in some sense winter serves like an equalizer, making every part of the lake accessible even to people not owning land there. maybe some other day i will manage to put up some more pictures, for now just one so you get the idea that winter here is actually really beautiful ;)

the answer is silence

what is the best strategy when the reaction to your action is silence?

to ask?

to assume everything is as it should?

to declare the action the acutal aim, consequently rendering an answer unneccessary?

to trust that there would be a response in case something went wrong?


these days i quite fancy the redefinition approaches; sadly they are not completely risk free..

4'33" or the absence of silence

today these music scores fell into my hands by mere chance. Of course I had heard about John Cage and his (in)famous piece before, but actually laying hands on the score and seeing how to write down 'nothing' really impressed me. It is nearly an offence to people to mock them in such way; but at the same time it is an act of a genius. In a handwritten introduction, one finds how to perform this piece:
It can be performed by any instrument or combinations of instruments, and there are different versions of subdividing it into the compulsory three movements. How this is done is up to the performer(s).
Then there is the piece - sketched down on one page three movements, all of them tacets... simply

        I
     tacet
       II
     tacet
      III
     tacet

nothing else...

Now my curiosity was definitely too much so I started searching more information on this piece. The most interesting ones I collected here for you:

first performance by david tudor



The reactions to this first performance were quite strong, from confused to furious. Somehow I can not even imagine how these people must have felt, being confronted with such performance, totally unexpectedly. At no time before this 'nothing', which actually reveiled the absence of total silence, had counted as music or had been performed as such in public. (Actually, the idea was not completely new. Other silences existed already at the time, however written down in another, more verbose way... )

By now, the piece has become very famous and is being performed with all kinds of groups of musicians for quite enthusiastic audiences. For me the most peculiar of those was the following:

performance by the bbc symphony orchestra



Isn't it incredible? To let this whole bunch of world class musicians sit and do nothing, apart from existing? As the presenter states, these performances incur a lot of tension.. I really believe this - actually I wonder if I could even sit out those 4 and a half minutes without bursting into laughter half way through!
But then, it surely must be a very fascinating experience.

If you are interested you might enjoy this short essay on the idea behind the piece, this article "the sounds of silence", and also the following one which raises the question who actually owns 'silence'?

last but not least, I wanted to share with you another one of John Cage's works - a sonata for prepared piano:

4th December

Traditionally the day of Saint Barbara. Here it is custom at this day to cut branches from the bare trees and put them in a vase so the 'dead' wood will revive again and bear fresh leaves and flowers at christmas. I think it is quite a symbolic meaning for the time of advent, when consciousness of the worlds darkness and misery is starting to break away and to show some glimpse of light and hope.

But then I wonder if it is still possible to notice all these unobtrusive things, starting from darkness and silence, in our ever more glaring and loud world... and if anyone even wants to percieve them.. There are hard to find, as they are often outside of our world of daily routines and habits which doesn't know of much time to breathe and look around. But somehow I think it might be worth it to look for them nevertheless.