Wenn du ruhig leben willst,
darfst du nicht alles sagen,
was du weißt,
und nicht alles glauben,
was du hörst.
(Mong Dsi, 372-289 v. Chr.)
Wir müssen von Zeit zu Zeit
eine Rast einlegen und warten,
bis unsere Seelen uns
wieder eingeholt haben.
(Indianische Weisheit)
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Free Rice
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6 commenti:
I will attempt a rough translation, hopefully not all the poetry will get lost.
"If you want to live in peace
you must not say everything you know
and not believe everything you hear."
"From time to time we need to take a rest and wait until our souls have caught up with us."
The less you say, the better.
There are people who can't stand the silence and think it is better to fill it with words. Usually not very self-assured types, of course.
Sometimes I feel I should help them and tell them what they talk contains no content, but that would be rather impolite.
Often people have something to say, but they use totally wrong statements, therefore the goal of conversation should usually be to find out what idea the other person wants to communicate. Sometimes it is "I am very lonely, please speak to me" (hidden by a tirade of meaningless sentences). But it is rather embarrassing, so I don't like to get involved.
I do not agree completely. If you don't tell anything, don't you assume that the others will understand automatically what your intentions are?
And on the other hand, even if people talk seemingly useless things, there usually is a reason for that. So I think instead of just being terrible and rude to them one could just ask in a friendly way 'why are you telling me this?'.
Of course, if one has intentions ("ideas") to communicate, then why should it be not expressed. Nevertheless I don't find it very polite to ask "why are you telling me this?" (maybe it sounds better in German, I dunno) because it just hides the meaning "what is it you want from me?". Maybe the problem is that some people do not read the signs of body language and face expressions. A face is a mirror of what one says to the other. As communication between people is based on communication being interesting (given there are more than 5 billions of people there is a good chance to have interesting communications), in this big and cruel world one has to fight for attention, whatever one's intention is. The first sentence I think is a very good advice in this case. It is indeed controversial to advice not to speak to get attention, but it works much better than to speak a lot (imho).
maybe.. i guess you have the surprise moment on your side if people are not used to hear you speak.
as far as it concerns body language, however, i have found that it(or maybe even more face expressions) might differ quite noticeably amongst people. i couldn't yet make up my mind if it's due to cultural differences (i have found that occasionally i seriously can not make sense from some foreign people's expressions, which causes a lot of insecurity if they in addition do not follow any known communication pattern) or that a lot of people seem to hide or feign some kind of mood when talking amongst each other.
what i meant by asking the other one why they are saying certain things is that it could be fair to let them know that you currently do not understand what their point is. i do not think that this necessarily has to be rude - as usual it is the sound that makes the music. and also, if you already figured a possible reason why someone spams you with a lot of empty words - they might be just lonely as in your example - a good question could serve to verify that your assumption is in fact correct. actually i think this is something done way too little, as for whatever reason people have the tendency to put their own assumptions and observations under some kind of 'infallible truths'. i guess it often happens unconsciously but still it inhibits communications quite a bit as it results in a lot prejudices.
probably though changing this behaviour presumes that one is actually interested to see what the other one is about.
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